Most people are really nice but some stare, like you`re some kind of zoo exhibit and not a real person with real feelings. ― Emma Watson

(Source: ewatsondaily)

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Horrible Bosses: The Origin of Mother Fucker Jones

  • Nick: How'd you get the name "Mother Fucker"?
  • MFJ: When i was a kid i snuck into my mothers bedroom.
  • Nick, Dale, and Kurt: Uhh O.....
  • MFJ: She was layin there naked.
  • Kurt: Dean?
  • MFJ: She had been drinkin all night.
  • Nick: We got it.
  • MFJ: Then i snuck up behind her.
  • Nick: Ummm....
  • MFJ: And then i slipped my fingers.
  • Nick, Dale, and Kurt: ...
  • MFJ: ...Into her purse.
  • Kurt: Purse? He said Purse.
  • MFJ: And i took her whole weeks pay. I really fucked her over. And thats why they call me Mother Fucker Jones.
  • Dale: O
  • Kurt: They should call you Mother Fucker Over Jones to avoid confusion.
  • MFJ: What confusion?

103 notes


Arrested Development- Tobias 

153 notes